How to ̷S̷t̷e̷a̷l̷ Make a parking block!
How to ̷S̷t̷e̷a̷l̷ Make a parking block
- Being under the age of 18 is definitely helpful here. You can get away with a lot of criminal mischief when you're a kid. Or at least you could in the 90's when i was a minor. So that's your first step, dont be an old person who's afraid of going to jail. Being young is also cool because your body doesn't hurt all the time.
- Find a parking block that's fairly hidden and/ or won't be immediately missed. This shouldn't be too hard during the COVID crisis because businesses are currently closed or shuttered for good. So find an empty or abandoned lot with low street traffic nearby. Example: In front of the police station, Not so good. Behind the crusty carpark of the strip club or kebab shop. Probably safe.
- Call up a homie with a beat up truck or thrashed hatchback to load the block into. if your friend also has some big muscles that's going to be a plus. Parking blocks weigh over 200 pounds so you're going to need to help lifting it into the vehicle. God help you if you plan to try and lift it yourself you will probably pop a hernia out your backside!!
- Think about what you're wearing when you go to steal that block. If you're wearing baggy, dark clothing and looking hella suspect then you're more likely to get some hassle should the cops stumble across you. Your best bet is to put on some preppy, clean-cut shirt. If the police roll up just tell them you're on a fraternity scavenger hunt and you need to "Borrow" a parking block or your frat brothers are gonna paddle behind till its bleeding...Frat guys are pretty stange...
- Have a destination in mind for your block so you're not aimlessly driving around with stolen stuff in the back of your vehicle. If you don't have a spot in mind, then i gotta ask; Why are you stealing a parking block in the first place?? If you're stealing it just to steal something, that's kind of stupid really. There's way eaiser things to steal than a 200 pound slap of concrete!
- I'd recommend placing your stolen block at the top of a ditch or a bank to emulate coping or put it on the flat and wax the hell out of it! Did you know that the origin of the word coping is Greek? Yeah! it comes from kolaphos, which is defined as ''Blow with the fist'' The modern phrase ''Come to blows'' is derived from it. Which is kinda cool, because skating slappy curbs and parking blocks is kinda aggressive right? Like, you're kinda trying to kick the block's ass. That reminds me of a story of getting my ass beat by a parking block.
- Yeah i mean there's not much else to it, just go and find yourself a parking block, ̷S̷t̷e̷a̷l̷ Make it and go shred the hell out of it! just remember to stay safe and don't hurt yourself or your homies in the process of ̷S̷t̷e̷a̷l̷i̷n̷g̷ Making and also skating the parking block.